disappointment

So. Now that I'm not weeping any more, I can look at things more clearly.

( followed by much thrashing around )

I think that maybe I should go back to Monsour tomorrow. I'm also coming to the conclusion that, even if the increased dosage works out, I need to seriously reconsider what I'm doing and why.

getting past it

For those of you who have been keeping track of my emotional state: I've just been talking to Kate. You don't know her, but that's okay. She's an awesome person. She does awesome things. And she's exactly who I needed to talk to.

Also, earlier today I realized that the root of my immediate problem is Anth 51. I don't know why, but something about it I just really don't like, and I'm going to try and drop it. Hopefully this will give me more time to spend on my other classes. Dean Clark did say that it might be possible to drop a class if I needed to.

A less immediate problem is the fact that my interest in what was going to be my senior thesis has grown cold. And stale. And musty. And it's starting to rot. But I can switch from Japan/History to East Asia/Religious Studies, I think. This also obviates the need to take a seminar on a subject I was kind of trying to avoid. I have less certainty about what my thesis is going to be on, but I feel freer, having decided to break with the old expectations.

Aside from that, ow, womb. I hate you, too.