(no subject)
Aug. 20th, 2004 09:26 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
I used to think that I was bipolar.
That's not it, of course. I am merely subject to fits of depression and loss of self esteem when I get lonely -- especially when I am both lonely and disappointed.
Or, if you like, you could say I'm a type of vampire. I even have the marks on my skin to show it. Instead of needing to drink/eat blood, I feed off the life energy that gets directed at me when people give me their attention. So, when I don't get that attention, I starve.
The real reason, of course, is because when I get depressed I... kinda forget to eat. And I lose my appetite.
Since I don't have anyone to eat with, after all, what's the point?
Anyway:
My room is still not at all put together, as it seems my hangers, my tape, and my tacks have all been misplaced. I could use a stapler instead (well, not for the hangers) but mine broke shortly before the end of last year. So I still have boxes everywhere, and my clothes are not hung up because... well, they've got nothing to hang on.
This is pretty annoying, but doubtless I will stop feeling sorry for myself tomorrow morning, when I get to go off to another meeting and hang out with 21 other people, doing semi-fun stuff in preparation of freshman arrival.
PS: Being forgotten sucks.
That's not it, of course. I am merely subject to fits of depression and loss of self esteem when I get lonely -- especially when I am both lonely and disappointed.
Or, if you like, you could say I'm a type of vampire. I even have the marks on my skin to show it. Instead of needing to drink/eat blood, I feed off the life energy that gets directed at me when people give me their attention. So, when I don't get that attention, I starve.
The real reason, of course, is because when I get depressed I... kinda forget to eat. And I lose my appetite.
Since I don't have anyone to eat with, after all, what's the point?
Anyway:
My room is still not at all put together, as it seems my hangers, my tape, and my tacks have all been misplaced. I could use a stapler instead (well, not for the hangers) but mine broke shortly before the end of last year. So I still have boxes everywhere, and my clothes are not hung up because... well, they've got nothing to hang on.
This is pretty annoying, but doubtless I will stop feeling sorry for myself tomorrow morning, when I get to go off to another meeting and hang out with 21 other people, doing semi-fun stuff in preparation of freshman arrival.
PS: Being forgotten sucks.