first fall

So the numbers for my particular interest are supposed to be posted sometime today, and as the time draws nearer, I find myself becoming increasingly pessimistic. Yes, I have stronger recommendations this year than I did last, and I got in last, even though only about half of the people applying did, but apparently there's a lot of people applying this year, and a strong pool is ultimately the cause of my other rejection. At least, that's the way it was presented to me.

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And now that that I've got that written out, I'm hoping it won't have been necessary (or maybe even that it was - I rather like the idea of the other thing, but it's extremely uncertain) and in any case, I can pull myself back out of that piece of depression. A headlong fall is often better than a slower one assaulted by anxiety, because then you can get over it. And the new way of tieing the obi seems more secure than the last one, so I'm happy about that, even if it does make my arms hurt.

I'm getting a little tired of folding cranes, but I tell myself I just have to finish half of them before next week, and I'll have half that week off if I want it. Or I could just take off the rest of today and do one on Monday and be up to schedule through Tuesday. And I can sew a bit, or draw some before getting back to it.

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And I need to come up with some new icons, and delete the ones I'm not really using any more.

well

"That" (see two posts ago) worked out, so I am not anticipating another bout of depression for a while. Hopefully. I still wish kodalai could have done "that" too, as the coming year looks like it's going to be an interesting, but I should probably still be able to pounce occasionally.

As for "the other thing'... Well, I guess I'm just letting it go. There will be other chances to live with people and be domestic like that.

And now... Nausicaa.