piece no. 6
Apr. 10th, 2004 09:20 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
sureiI'm feeling like sharing today.
Naruto, elements of Ranma 1/2, OC. Orochimaru is probably rather OOC, but then, this is supposed to be funny.
“Orochimaru, huh?” Kai giggled. “What a… remarkable… name.”
Orochimaru leered at her.
“Quite appropriate too. Just a moment.” Her hand disappeared down her pants a moment – though it was hard to tell, with the tunic – and came out again with two fingers glistening a little on their tips. Then she went through a typical summoning, and hopped off the creature that appeared, which looked plaintively at her.
“I’m not asking you to eat him!” she said. “And no eating me either. Here, open up.”
It opened its mouth, and she dragged the two fingers across its tongue. It grinned at her.
“Yes, yes, you’re welcome. Anyway, this is Orochimaru. Orochimaru, meet the Orochi.”
And indeed it was, even if it looked rather comical.
Orochimaru wasn’t sure whether to slap his forehead or look amused, so he settled for a neutral look followed by a slight leer. “Can it talk?”
The Orochi chuckled, surprising him with the deep sound, though it was a bit rusty. “I can.”
“And you came here to attack me? Should I summon…?”
“No, no. Men taste awful.”
Kai snickered.
So did Siany. “I don’t know, some of them can taste quite nice…”
Both Orochimaru and the Orochi looked turned to look at her – they hadn’t really noticed her before. “Can I eat her?” the Orochi asked.
“No.”
“Aww…”
“Why do you obey her?” Orochimaru asked.
“She is descended from the only one to… ah… ‘defeat’ me. And she has the whistle. It can be quite annoying, though – why are you looking at me like that?”
“Because you’re a pervert.”
“Women taste nice. What’s wrong with that?”
She opened her mouth for a moment, then closed it. “Nothing, actually. Even if it is a bit clichéd… But I don’t ogle my food.”
“What can I say? Those—“
“No.”
“That—“
“No.”
“You never let me have any fun.”
“No, I don’t. Go commiserate with your self-Maru – it seems like he’s a pervert too.”
“Hey!”
“You were leering.”
“So?” they asked together.
“You were probably wondering how I’d taste, in a non-cannibalistic sense.”
“Merely appreciating your… attributes.” He leered again.
“Uh huh. Orochi, you’re free to leave when you want, but if you eat any girls I’ll whistle. Meanwhile, I’m getting out of here.” And she abruptly disappeared – faded out of view without moving or making any gestures or using any noticeable chakra.
“How did she do that?” Orochimaru pondered.
The Orochi shrugged as best a serpent – more like a giant head with seven tails and an extra head on the end of each – could. “Martial arts. It’s her family’s style, and she’s the only one left, so you’ll have to ask her if you want to learn – ouch!”
“Only one left, hah,” Kai’s voice came from somewhere near the Orochi’s head. “I’m the grandmaster’s heir – I think that makes me a master of the school.”
“Yes, well…”
“Get it right, old man.”
“If she’s the ‘only one left’, then the grandmaster is…?”
“Ah, Happo— ouch!”
“No telling.”
“Alright, alright. Just ruin my fun, why don’t you.”
“That’s my job.” She sounded cheerful. “Come on, Siany – race you to the lake.”
“You’re on!” Siany said, and took off.
Naruto, elements of Ranma 1/2, OC. Orochimaru is probably rather OOC, but then, this is supposed to be funny.
“Orochimaru, huh?” Kai giggled. “What a… remarkable… name.”
Orochimaru leered at her.
“Quite appropriate too. Just a moment.” Her hand disappeared down her pants a moment – though it was hard to tell, with the tunic – and came out again with two fingers glistening a little on their tips. Then she went through a typical summoning, and hopped off the creature that appeared, which looked plaintively at her.
“I’m not asking you to eat him!” she said. “And no eating me either. Here, open up.”
It opened its mouth, and she dragged the two fingers across its tongue. It grinned at her.
“Yes, yes, you’re welcome. Anyway, this is Orochimaru. Orochimaru, meet the Orochi.”
And indeed it was, even if it looked rather comical.
Orochimaru wasn’t sure whether to slap his forehead or look amused, so he settled for a neutral look followed by a slight leer. “Can it talk?”
The Orochi chuckled, surprising him with the deep sound, though it was a bit rusty. “I can.”
“And you came here to attack me? Should I summon…?”
“No, no. Men taste awful.”
Kai snickered.
So did Siany. “I don’t know, some of them can taste quite nice…”
Both Orochimaru and the Orochi looked turned to look at her – they hadn’t really noticed her before. “Can I eat her?” the Orochi asked.
“No.”
“Aww…”
“Why do you obey her?” Orochimaru asked.
“She is descended from the only one to… ah… ‘defeat’ me. And she has the whistle. It can be quite annoying, though – why are you looking at me like that?”
“Because you’re a pervert.”
“Women taste nice. What’s wrong with that?”
She opened her mouth for a moment, then closed it. “Nothing, actually. Even if it is a bit clichéd… But I don’t ogle my food.”
“What can I say? Those—“
“No.”
“That—“
“No.”
“You never let me have any fun.”
“No, I don’t. Go commiserate with your self-Maru – it seems like he’s a pervert too.”
“Hey!”
“You were leering.”
“So?” they asked together.
“You were probably wondering how I’d taste, in a non-cannibalistic sense.”
“Merely appreciating your… attributes.” He leered again.
“Uh huh. Orochi, you’re free to leave when you want, but if you eat any girls I’ll whistle. Meanwhile, I’m getting out of here.” And she abruptly disappeared – faded out of view without moving or making any gestures or using any noticeable chakra.
“How did she do that?” Orochimaru pondered.
The Orochi shrugged as best a serpent – more like a giant head with seven tails and an extra head on the end of each – could. “Martial arts. It’s her family’s style, and she’s the only one left, so you’ll have to ask her if you want to learn – ouch!”
“Only one left, hah,” Kai’s voice came from somewhere near the Orochi’s head. “I’m the grandmaster’s heir – I think that makes me a master of the school.”
“Yes, well…”
“Get it right, old man.”
“If she’s the ‘only one left’, then the grandmaster is…?”
“Ah, Happo— ouch!”
“No telling.”
“Alright, alright. Just ruin my fun, why don’t you.”
“That’s my job.” She sounded cheerful. “Come on, Siany – race you to the lake.”
“You’re on!” Siany said, and took off.