BLUE LIPS IMPLICATE POMONA STUDENT
Some time between one and three this afternoon, Hollywood's stars were eaten by an unknown assailant. At around 11:30 this evening, a Pomona student stated that she had eaten all the stars, and was consequently taken in for questioning. She now awaits trial.
The student, Darcy, is pleading guilty by means of sugar craze. "They were iced with blue icing," she protested to our reporter. "And they had little cinnamon hearts." However, as she also claims that she baked them herself, there is some question as to her sanity to begin with.
When asked for closing remarks, Darcy said, "They're really very good cookies. Would you like one? I think I still have the lips of doom."
Dedicated to Paul (whose idea it was, and who needs sleep) and to everyone who helped to make, cut, and ice this year's Valentine's Day cookies.